Reality Is Merciless
by PurpleGlassStarfish
Summary: There are so many question left unanswered, so many fears to be faced. Carlisle and Esme are left with too many possibilities. Pre-battle moment from Eclipse.


**A/N Hey everyone! Sorry it took so long! Here is my interpretation of the moment from Eclipse where Carlisle and Esme are seen together, talking before the battle. Thanks to everyone who reviewed and read "Running From Myself"! That was difficult to write, but I'm glad I did. Anyways, I'll be away for a big part of August, so I won't be able to publish any stories from August 12 - September 2, and when school starts up for me again, I won't be able to publish stories as frequently, but I'll try my best! And please review! Anyways, enjoy the story! **

***CHARACTERS BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER***

Carlisle P.O.V.

I suddenly felt like I had awaken from a dream. Where was the laughter, the smiles, the hope we all held on to so tightly? It had been like watching something from a movie. Not real. Like everything was under control, no need to worry. But just like that, something snapped. My vision, became sharper, I was more aware, more…alive? I wouldn't put it that way if there wasn't another word for it. I felt like I had been living under the impression that we would all be fine. I'm not complaining about it, it felt good. But, to resurface from it, this close to possible tragedy, felt like waking up with a bomb strapped to your chest. All my thoughts started to take on a more negative tone, than before. More doubtful, worried, more stressed.

I watched as the rain drops painted the scenery around me. What once used to be brilliant blue sky, was now a dark grey. The dark green trees across the river now looked menacingly beautiful, as they awaited our footsteps among them. Everything looked so much more at peace. The colours of the trees, the sky and the water all consisted of the same neutral colour. The blue, the green, and the grey all complimented each other. Not one individual standing out, but _all_ of them as one.

It was absolutely stunning.

Never had I seen nature so cooperative with each other. There was always one plant or animal that stood out, making everything else blend into the background, never getting attention. There was always that something that contradicted another something. There was never agreement in nature, it seemed. But now, it was like all prejudices were forgotten. It wasn't worth it. Any of it. The constant battle to be seen, to be right, was left behind in the dust.

_Why is it so difficult for us to be like that?_

I knew that question was far from being answered. I had asked it all my life, and never got an answer I could actually believe. We shouldn't have to kill children as a punishment for being tricked into fighting for something completely irrelevant to them. They have nothing to do with Victoria's problems. It's sickening. I'm about to murder someone for ignorance.

I don't even know who I am anymore.

I will fight them. I will kill them. I will protect my family.

I watched Emmett and Jasper continue to wrestle, bursts of laughter echoing through the forest every time one of them fell to the ground. Alice, Rosalie and Esme were sitting in a circle, talking quietly with small smiles lighting up their faces. They all looked so young. We weren't trying to keep our act, to look older than we really were. We were a family of vampires, and that's what it would've looked like to any human who would happen to wander the wrong way. We weren't pretending. We were living in reality. Everything around us seemed to agree with me. _A normal family._

All of sudden, the scene changed. My mind took a sudden turn as I watched my son's continue to wrestle each other. Reality acted like an elastic band, snapping me back to a realization, as Jasper helped his brother back onto his feet.

Reality was harsh.

If it was a newborn that pushed him to the ground, it would take more than that to get back on his feet. If a newborn got hold of his arm, it would rip it off, mercilessly. These newborns wouldn't hesitate when they'd get the chance to kill him. Jasper was absolutely nothing compared to reality.

We were prepared…I think.

But was prepared enough? Did we even have any idea of what we had gotten into? Is there a chance one of us could lose a mate, a brother, a sister, a parent? I knew that if I lost any of them, I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I wouldn't be able to see my reflection, without hatred clouding my sight. It's my job, to keep everyone together, to protect everyone from fear. I know I'm an awful excuse for a father, but these are my children, my family, my happiness.

This is my wife.

I knew that if anything happened to her, it would be my fault. I wanted to run with her, to beg Edward to keep her with him, beg her to stay away from this battle. I wanted to make sure no one would lay a finger on her. This idea was so…

So _tempting._

*~0~*

Esme P.O.V.

"I won't bet against you, Alice." Rosalie said, sarcastically. Alice and Rosalie had just finished arguing about whether Emmett or Jasper will give in first. At the rate it was going, I thought it would never end. They were both extremely equal components. They could take care of themselves. They were both perfectly capable of defending their lives when needed. But, I'm a mother. I couldn't help but cringe every time one of them hit the ground, or sigh in relief every time one of them dodged a punch.

My mind changed the image in front of me. There was Emmett and Jasper, but they were…different. There was something about their skin, something that resembles that of a human's and their eyes were blue and brown in colour. They were fighting each other, but when they were pushed to the ground, they grunted in pain. Their technique started to get sloppier, almost sluggish. They were panting, gasping for breath, until one of them collapsed. Emmett lay there, still as a rock. The colour drained from his face, and the bruises already forming on his arms. I wanted to scream out in pain at the sight of him lying in front me, his eyes lifeless. Jasper stood over him, seemingly neutral, his eyes blank, and muscles relaxed. The image was soon replaced with another. Jasper was lying on the ground, his face contorted with agony, his arm detached from his body. I silently screamed, desperately trying to disinfect my mind from these images. I focused in on the boys in front of me. Jasper glanced my way, his face confused at my sudden burst of terror.

Never had an image seemed so real to me.

My son's tortured face lingered in my vision. I wanted to cry. So badly. I wanted feel tears stream down my cheeks, numbing my face as they fell. I wanted to just let go of my fears, to release them from the drawer they had been locked in all this time. I wanted someone to tell me that it was impossible, that Emmett and Jasper and all my family would be safe. I wanted to know that Edward's decision to stay with Bella was not going to be a weakness for us. That we would all be together in the end, laughing and smiling. That I would not lose another child.

I could _not_ lose another child.

**A/N Sorry this took so long to update! I know it's not a very long chapter, but the next one will probably be longer. This was much more difficult than I thought it would be, but it felt great to finish it. It was a little hard, emotionally, on me…I don't really know why though :P**

**The next chapter will be up between August 12- September 2. Sorry there is such a gap! Finally taking my summer vacation . Thanks for reading everyone! Please, please, please review! It means so much to me.**


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